Become a household name as a tv star.... Steve Brookstein urm, Shane Warrrrrd ... or like the soap actor who thought being offered panto it would enhance his career and soon found himself filming his own tv death ... or the soap cast members who were anxious enough to raise concern over an issue and found they were all blown out of the tv by way of a plane crash.
I think these true stories far more interesting than some of the desperate and evil storylines we're force-fed.
Some have questioned Johnnie Walkers' exit from Radio Two as Boss Lesley Douglas made it plain she was a fan of the Woss-ites, and Radio One's 1990's DJ's rather than the 60's and 70's variety. Following Lesley's appointment fast demotion for Richard Allinson and embelishment of Jonathan Ross, the arrival of Mark Radcliffe and Chris Evans followed.
What kind of deals are struck in media appointments that leave the listener or viewer scratching their head wondering what happened to errr you know?
Well an aquaintance of mine mentioned to me he wanted to start a business but he didn't want the bother of any of his staff having any employment rights, none at all. I said "Mate that's easy... give them a self employed contract. It's great you can sack them yesterday and tell them about it next week, and it won't matter how long they've worked for you. A contract written so that you're not even obliged to give them any work. If you're dissatisfied with anyone for whatever reason, maybe they wear the wrong shoes, maybe they're too good at their job ... Whatever you do don't let them know because you might want to get rid of them. Wait until the right moment and tell them you've changed your plans, and anyway according to the contract they've signed you don't have to give them any notice, in fact they should be grateful to you for giving them any work in the first place because under the terms of the contract you don't actually have to give them work."
He said "What about if they've got children or sick elderly parents?" I said "No problem - self employed innit - you don't have to become involved in any of that staff welfare nonsense, you won't even have go through the informalities of speaking to them never mind enquiring whether they're recovering. In fact, I bet no-one will go sick even when they're at death's door."
He said "I won't have many applying for a job if I advertise that."
I said "shhhh you don't want to advertise it, just put a clause in the contract so that they sign to say they've had it checked out by their solicitor."
He said "I'm a bit confused, I've never heard of such a thing I thought everyone was entitled to some protection under the law."
"Well put in a clause saying they've had the contract checked out by a solicitor and they agree to it, you know signing away their employment rights."
He said "Well why doesn't every employer do it." I said "Sssshhhhhhhhh you've got to keep it quiet, and you've got to call their job a service."
I said look if you're in any doubt just take away this freelance radio presenter contract and you'll see how easy it is.
Great news, he's never had any staffing problems.
He even had the fun of being told how he sacked someone while he was on a coke trip - he couldn't remember it.
It's a fantastic success. |